new wine in an old bottle

I think everybody's getting too guileless when writing their status updates on facebook.
"I miss him soooooo...!"
"Can't forget about the memories of her..."
"I love you, do you know???"
Eeww.. (Well maybe sometimes I might've done it too, hehe)
Oh but for goodness sake, the whole world (I mean, only your world of friends list) will know what you are feeling..! For me, it's too personal. I'm not comfortable if people know me from my status updates only. And in this world of busy-ness, you seldom meet or make contacts with friends, the only chance they get to know you is from those updates. Do you want to be recognised as in, "I just saw novella yesterday!" "Ooh the one who seemed like just been dumped by her boyfriend?" "Yeah, but that's quite old information, her status updates from two minutes ago said something like she's on a crush with some cute guy from nearest clinic."
Your status updates can be hot topics for gossips, dear!
So, since this is a private blog hence gossip-free, I want to say "I miss him sooooooo...!" LOL!
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Since morning, the whole day has been sun-less. I've got too many thoughts. All conditions attached to one another and complicated by the current emotions and past time remaining feelings. Usual annoying things that I used to bare just for the sake of being a nice person has got me exploded and said the things I've wanted so long to say but kept it inside just for the sake of being a nice person. A bit of satisfaction though, even when it can't be described as a relief.
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I love Anaesthesia Dept.!
Today got the chance to attend Operation Theatre VIII, where the anaesthetic resident was sooo gorgeous PLUS the surgery resident is not bad for the eyes too! Why would I be anywhere else? Hehehe...
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Suddenly feel so lonely.. T-T
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Passed the final test for Ophthalmology stage. Yayyy! Just got one paper presentation to go. Woohoo...! Won't be facing heart throbbing post test like this for another two months. Sweet :)
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Just read some of my blog posts and realised I made too much grammatical errors. English is not my first nor second language being a Chinese born Indonesian, but English is crucial. International language. Even Fernando Torres speaks English now. I really really want to learn proper English as soon as I graduate this slavery student interns thing. Maybe I could be in the team that translates medical books from English to Indonesian. The only thing relevant for me when I get the degree as a doctor who doesn't want to be a general practitioner. Hopefully. Amen.
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Don't care if I'm late for that or what. Love it! Just realised I've always liked Brendan Fraser's movies (not that I've watched many). Basically I like movies (or I think so, always had a good time after watching one) but somehow I never follow the latest ones playing on cinemas. Not even bother to get the DVD. Why? Asking my bipolar self..
After this I'll look for Journey to the Centre of the Earth. And The Mummy...umm 6th? How many of the series are they?
O well. The reason I blog is that I'm impressed of the Inkheart's storyline.. Well much more about the characters. Hilarious :)
My favourite part is when Mo accused Dustfinger "selfish, repugnant, weak character!" Then Dustfinger pointed at his creator (the writer of the book he lived in), "Blame him, he made me that way!" Lol XD
It made me so sad that he supposed to be dead in that book he tried to go back into, that I almost promised myself not to kill any characters if I ever write.
Then I realised that is not possible. At all. Well.. How about I only kill the bad guys? No? What a cruel world. Writers are selfish. If it hurt so much to kill Sirius Black, then why she did it? To make the plot-swing, of course. Professionals shall have one of those. But I have one question. Why are there so many ghost characters in Harry Potter story but when we really wished for a dead character to come up again as a ghost, it's not allowed? At least made up a reasonable reason to fill this hole in readers heart.
I was a huge fan of Harry Potter until he becomes too famous that I can't afford buying the 7th book. When waiting for the price to be a bit friendlier, all the rich friends (and inconsiderate ones) had scattered the significant spoilers that I had no interest to read anymore. Up until now I never know the end of Harry Potter (but I pick Daniel Radcliffe over Robert Pattinson XD). And I've never read Twilight. Guess it's just my selfish gene: never like what the public make too much fuss about, unless I found it first ;P
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Delusion of grandeur, is so simple to explain by examples.
"I'm an FBI agent," said a jobless man with a rusty politics party campaign T-shirt, from two periods of election ago. "I work for the Intel too."
Or "I am sent from the outer universe to save this world... Where's the cheerleader?"
What a nonsense (--not the delusion thing. It's the "save the cheerleader, save the world" concept. Nevermind explaining. Not so important anyway).

Thinking too much about oneself that he's special, very important, and plays a crucial role for the existence of the rest of the world. It's a false belief and can't be shaken. Even if we bring out all the proofs that the belief is wrong. They'll think you're jealous. (Or maybe we are. The psychotics have their own world, build houses on the clouds and have their mind peace. So nice compared to reality-awared minds. Full of complications, this life is, eh?)

What's worse is the "delusion-of-grandeur like" disorder (I made the term up). The sufferers are "normal" people, not psychotic, meaning they are fully aware of reality. They have a mild symptom of delusion of grandeur. Thinking that they're the best and the nicest and everybody depends on them. So they can act cool (according to them) that makes them apparently like jerks (according to everyone who needs to meet them for a purpose). Example: Mr.Udin, a worker in InternalMedicine administration office who handles ins and outs and "grade transfer" where all our grades are written by him in our grade books. Without his permit we won't get our grade formally. He acts like he's a professor emeritus or something. Greatness.
Other examples include the newly graduate doctors who are studying to get their specialist degree. 'Oh yeah let's act like a supervisor,' thought some of them. 'Let's bring this med students down!' As if they forgot the time they're med students too: last year, baby! Imagine the zillion seconds it had passed, I can understand how they fail to recall being the lowest part of hierarchy. Oh wait I can't. Even if it's million lights year away (I know light-year it's not the measurement of time), one shall not forget the hard times one had. Especially when other people are experiencing the same. The word is sympathy. Not bully.
Dear I'm getting a bit emotional...
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Since I woke up today - it's Sunday - I've been the one on the receiving end. Went to church, a free blessing as always. Then Ana and I had breakfast (very delicious noodles), Ana's treat - because yesterday I bought her a beef burger. Then I went to drawing lesson, it's my drawing teacher's birthday (I never knew, oh dear, I've been studying for 4 years and I didn't know my teacher's birthday. Shame on me). There were cakes, snacks, meal for lunch, and konyaku pudding as dessert. I was so full! My teacher and his friend (also like a teacher to me - he's a doctor and often gave me medical books - that I keep so well I never read them, sorry!), both of them had just got back from Malaysia and apparently they bought a souvenir for me - a lock-shaped accessory I can wear with my necklace. Cute! So I'm the one who receive a present. Sweet! A funky family also joined us. A nice couple and their three sons: a twin and their little brother who's not so little. It's still hard to differentiate the twin; I can differ their drawing styles though. The boys are really funny. We had a great time.
After the small gathering, I went to my auntie's, then together with her we're off to the traditional market (she bought me a classy white handbag), then to the hair saloon (her treat!), then an early dinner. I'm sooo full today! Happy! :) Thank you JC :)
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Go get up. Chase your dreams. See the sunset on a beach.
That's what the elders said.
What am I doing here, studying medicine? I got inside its world just to learn that I'm not going to be part of it. Ever. Why waste time slaving yourself in the subject you're not even good in. Search your talent, or at least just something you like to do. Then fight for it.
I want to be a writer. I dream to be one. As soon as I graduate here, I'll strive to get in that literature world. I have tons of ideas of want to write, but got no time to actually write them down. A friend of mine introduced me to her friend who's going to be an editor. She read one of my draft and said it's too weird. You're not gonna write fantasy novel, this is not Harry Potter. Well it is not Harry stuffs, clearly. But I AM going to pick fantasy as genre. I don't want to produce another devastating story that has "many" meanings of life etc but makes the readers frustrated. I want to make people laugh at my storyline and point at the silliness of the characters. I want them to read with blithe feelings. Present them a world full of imaginations and dreams. Isn't this life already stressful enough? Why do we want to put this cruel reality into the escape window to a whole new world called fiction novel?

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